How To Deal With Borderline Personality Disorder Girlfriend

How To Deal With Borderline Personality Disorder Girlfriend

How To Deal With Borderline Personality Disorder Girlfriend

Whether you and somebody who you know continues to suffer from borderline personality disorder, you might indeed experience considerable distress. It can be tough to deal with when it comes to the sufferer’s family, girlfriend, and friends.

This blog post will give tips on how you can help and deal with your borderline personality disorder girlfriend in the best way possible.

Your girlfriend might not know they have BPD

To be diagnosed with BPD, a person must have significant difficulty regulating emotions and thoughts.

Those suffering from BPD often experience intense anger and sadness that seem unrelated to outside circumstances.

Even if your girlfriend has been officially diagnosed, they may still not be willing or able to identify what’s going on within themselves.

If you suspect your girlfriend has been diagnosed with BPD, approach them delicately; avoid labelling them as mentally ill or reacting emotionally when they’re upset.

Instead, explain that you are worried about their wellbeing. They can handle it if they need help, and let them know you will support them in getting treatment if required.

Signs of Borderline Personality Disorder in women

Understand that their emotions are most likely genuine. They may not feel as strongly as they express, but if they’re upset, something is bothering them.

Assume they aren’t crazy. BPD is a mental illness like any other (schizophrenia, depression) and should be treated like one.

If you have any questions about their feelings or behavior, ask them instead of making assumptions about what is going on in their mind and why they’re acting that way.

They don’t always know what’s happening inside themselves. They will appreciate your concern for their wellbeing, especially if you give it without judgment or criticism.

Let them talk through their problems. People with BPD experience intense emotions more intensely than others, so they need extra support when dealing with difficult situations.

Don’t dismiss their problems as little things or assume they’ll get over them eventually because you think it isn’t severe enough.

Listen attentively and provide reassurance when needed; let them know that you care about how they feel and want to help resolve whatever issue has come up.

Be available whenever possible so that when crises arise, she knows she can count on you for support rather than figuring out how to cope alone.

Try not to take everything personally; remember that her reactions come from within herself rather than being directed at anyone else.

Try to understand where she’s coming from before responding when she lashes out. And if you do respond harshly, apologize quickly and sincerely. Offer emotional support during times of crisis.

When a friend or family member experiences a highly stressful situation, such as losing someone close to them or getting into legal trouble, people with BPD often become very depressed and anxious.

Even though it might seem easier to ignore these mood swings, doing so won’t make them go away and could make matters worse by leading your loved one to believe that no one cares about her anymore.

Instead of withdrawing from your loved one during these periods, try listening patiently while offering reassurance that she still has people who love her despite her sadness or anger.

Tips on communicating with a person you suspect have BPD

It’s hard to explain how you feel when you’re not sure how you feel. That’s what BPD is like.

A person with BPD can go from happy and satisfied one minute to inconsolable, angry, and depressed seconds. If your girlfriend is anything like mine, it’s disorienting, even frightening at first.

The best thing I could do was work on my communication skills to talk about my feelings without falling apart or walking away (tempting as that sometimes was). 

In some ways, dealing with her BPD helped me become a better communicator for everyone else too. I learned to talk things out because it made a difference in our relationship.

  • Don’t ignore problems. I’m not saying you should tackle every issue head-on, but you shouldn’t pretend everything is okay when it isn’t. It’s important to tell your girlfriend what you need instead of trying to make them guess.
  • Don’t take responsibility for their emotions or actions. You might be able to help them see that they’re overreacting, but don’t try taking the blame for their bad behaviour or assume they won’t get mad no matter what you say or do.
  • Do give them space. Your girlfriend needs time alone to process their thoughts and feelings, so they’ll probably want some time alone after an argument.
  • Letting them have that space doesn’t mean you’ve given up on your relationship; it just means you’re being respectful of their needs.
  • Be patient. Remember: This is all new territory for both of you! It will take time before either of you knows what’s happening inside each other’s heads, so give yourselves room to learn together.

Ways to be supportive

If you’re in a relationship with someone who has BPD, there are ways you can support them and be supportive.

They might feel self-conscious about things they do, so encourage them and praise them for their strengths and achievements, big or small.

Be sensitive to changes in mood; try not to take anything personally, and avoid arguing when emotions are running high.

If trigger events, specific dates, people, or places may make your girlfriend uncomfortable, don’t push it if they don’t want to go through it.

Instead of convincing your girlfriend that she should get treatment for BPD which is impossible without their cooperation, offer help whenever you can (in person or by phone).


People with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) are prone to bouts of depression that can last for days or weeks or months. BPD is one of several types of mental health conditions known as personality disorders. 

Personality disorders are uncommon; they’re estimated to affect up to 4% of Americans, although men are affected more often than women. BPD course varies from person to person: Some people have only brief episodes where symptoms flare, while others have them for decades and may need lifelong treatment.

It’s vital that those living with BPD be aware of some basic facts about their condition to manage it effectively and maintain a fulfilling life.