Ending A Friendship With A Borderline Personality | BPD Friendship Cycle Explained
When ending a friendship with someone who has a borderline personality disorder (BPD), it’s essential to understand the BPD friendship cycle, which can make things easier.
While this article covers how to break up with someone who has BPD, it also explains why you should break up with someone who has BPD and how this cycle works in the first place.
Use the D.A.R.E Method
If you’re faced with ending a friendship, don’t just pull the plug abruptly. Most of us are naturally prone to emotion and impulsivity. Still, we can improve our ability to cope with it by anticipating our feelings.
Use what is called D.A.R.E., or Don’t Abuse Relationships Excessively, which means take an inventory of how often you are contacting your friend and how often they contact you.
Consider recording your interactions for a week to see if there is an imbalance in contact, then approach your friend about spending more time apart if that imbalance exists.
Be mindful of why you want to end a relationship and how you go about doing so.
For example, do not stop communication without first conversing with your friend and ensure that the exchange happens face-to-face.
Ending friendships isn’t easy, but it can be less painful for everyone involved when done correctly and respectfully.
Keep the Emotional Distance
Being friends with someone who has a borderline personality disorder (BPD) can be challenging.
Still, there are ways to navigate such friendships without feeling overwhelmed.
For example, limit your contact and keep an emotional distance from someone you know or suspect has BPD. Setting boundaries early on will make it easier to deal with situations later.
If you’re experiencing overwhelming feelings of sadness, anger, or emptiness after spending time with your friend, recognize that these emotions may not be typical for everyone else in similar situations, and that’s okay.
Talking about these feelings openly is an integral part of maintaining friendships and relationships in general.
It’s also important to remember that you don’t have to be friends with everyone; sometimes, it’s better just to let go.
Cut Off Communication, Block the Person on All Social Media Platforms
When you’re ending a friendship with someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD), it is essential to follow your gut and not feel pressured to engage in any communication.
When ending a friendship with someone with BPD, the first step is to cut off all forms of communication and block that person on social media platforms.
If you keep in touch, it will be tough for them to recognize that your relationship is over, and it could prolong their pain as they attempt to contact you.
Rather than go cold turkey, consider phasing out interactions slowly by stopping phone calls or email messages.
Explain that since things changed for you, you need some space to live your life free from conflict.
Tell them you wish them well and ask that they respect your decision. Be sure to never lie about why you are cutting ties. It will only make things worse later on.
At times, people with BPD can be manipulative, so do not allow yourself to get sucked into arguments or attempts at guilt trips; stick to your guns!
End Contact in Person
As difficult as it might be, it’s essential to end contact in person. This can make people with borderline personality disorder feel less rejected and more like you’re doing what’s best for them.
This technique should work for almost any friendship situation, even if you weren’t friends first, as it did in my case.
It makes a strong statement that your relationship is ending on good terms and won’t lead to heartache down the road.
Ending it over text or email could allow them to accuse you of ghosting later if things aren’t great between you again someday.
Just be aware that putting an end to contact doesn’t necessarily mean staying out of each other’s lives forever.
If you have mutual friends, you’ll eventually run into one another. If you’re worried about awkwardness when that happens, remember that it’s always possible to be cordial without rekindling a friendship.
You don’t owe anyone an explanation. It’s your life and yours alone. But sometimes, being honest about why certain people don’t fit into our lives is helpful for everyone involved.
I’ve found honesty tends to help me heal faster than bottling everything.
You will run into your ex from time to time
Although you may have parted ways, you might have to deal with your ex from time to time, seeing them at a party, on Facebook, or in class.
It’s best to go into those encounters prepared for some discomfort and not overreact if your ex behaves unexpectedly and thoughtfully.
If you don’t want anything to do with your ex anymore, then be clear about that.
Say something like It was great seeing you again without being overly friendly or sharing too much information.
Keep things simple, so there is no confusion about where you stand and no reason for awkwardness later on.
Even though your situation might seem dramatic compared to other problems, remember that many people experience similar circumstances when breaking up with their significant others.
You are not alone; by following these steps and trying to support yourself, you can get through any situation thrown at you!
Everyone has relationship breakups, but we can all learn how to cope with them better one day at a time!
And remember. breakups are never easy, but they always teach us what we need for our next relationship to go even better!
So hold onto hope because love is right around the corner!
Ending a friendship with someone with borderline personality disorder can be challenging but more necessary than you’d think. It may be hard to make that decision and even harder to follow through on, but understand that you’re doing your friend and yourself a favor.
By breaking up now, you are attempting to protect them from themselves and any potential harm they could do to their future relationships. You don’t want your friend to become that person, and neither does anyone else who has spent time around her.