How Long Should You Wait to Start Dating After Your Spouse Dies?
Many of the most relevant areas of life are your relationship with your spouse. You may have had it for decades, or maybe it was shorter but incredibly intense. Once that person dies, you may feel alone and want to start dating again.
Which also, regardless of how long readers were married and the situation of their death. Here are all the points to consider when trying to decide how lengthy to wait after your spouse’s murder before dating again.
Be kind to yourself
Though it’s easy to feel pressured by friends and family members, there is no perfect timeline for grieving or returning to your former state of happiness. Whether you are a widow or widower, have lost a parent, or have some other form of loss in your life, remember that each person deals with death differently.
In other words, don’t feel like you need to be back on the market as soon as possible. Take time during (and immediately following) grief to do things that help with healing and make sure that those closest to you are aware of how they can support you throughout it all.
The reality of the situation is that you are not alone if you are attempting to deal with grief, how you have recently lost a child or it has been years because such your loved one died. And while every situation is different, there’s nothing wrong with taking an I’ll know when I’m ready to approach dating again and letting yourself heal before moving forward.
There’s also nothing wrong with being open about what happened to your significant other: Sharing personal details about someone who meant so much to you will only remind you how they impacted your life. Most importantly, be patient and kind with yourself: The right person will come along when you’re ready.
Make accurate and timely decisions that bring you joy
Life is so short, and no one knows that better than someone who has recently lost a loved one. But sometimes, those who’ve been left behind make things more difficult for us because we fear starting something new or changing how we’ve always done things. Our lives won’t be precisely what they were before, but they can still be good. If you’re still mourning, take time to reflect on why your partner was so important to you—and then honor those memories by finding ways to be happy again in different ways.
And if you’re ready to move forward with your life, don’t feel guilty about wanting to do so. You have every right to live out your dreams and find happiness again. Whether you decide to date or not is entirely up to you—but either way, know that there’s nothing wrong with moving forward with your life if that’s what feels right for you. That might be precisely what your late spouse would want for you.
Take care of yourself physically
After a breakup, it’s easy to neglect yourself and keep on unhealthy habits like smoking. But smoking is bad for your health and can make heartbreak feel worse. Now’s a good time to get into a healthier routine, whether that means learning how to meditate or just going for a walk every day after work.
The healthier you are physically, mentally, and emotionally, the better you’ll feel when coping with grief. It can also help give yourself some direction during what may be an aimless period in life—it will provide you with something productive to focus on while mourning someone special.
Don’t rush into anything
When someone has just lost a loved one, they are very likely grieving. It’s an inevitable part of healing and can make people feel lonely and like they don’t have time for relationships. If you find yourself with these feelings, remember that it is okay to take some time to heal before being in a relationship again.
Taking things slow and spending extra time on self-care can ensure that your next relationship stays happy and healthy. Don’t rush into anything while going through difficult times; instead, take it easy, focus on yourself first and let things fall into place when they do.
Keep in touch with friends, family, and social media
After a loss, life can feel pretty lonely, but it’s essential to stay in touch with friends and family. They may not be able to understand precisely what you’re going through. Still, their love and support are vital for a healthy recovery. Take time out of each day (if possible) to talk with them on the phone or send an email, even if it’s just a brief check-in.
And don’t be afraid to reach out to social media—especially Twitter and Facebook groups specific to your loss. These people have all been through what you’re experiencing and may have beneficial advice for how best to cope with grief.
What are your motives?
All relationships are a two-way street, and when there’s a death involved, it can seem even more important that both parties are moving in sync. Discuss what kind of relationship you want with friends and family, and then think about why you’re seeking a new partner.
If your goal is to gain emotional support and companionship, ask yourself if that is likely with someone new; don’t rush into something just because it feels good at first. Do some soul searching before making any commitments—mainly if there are children involved—so that everyone has similar goals for their futures.
Give yourself time
As a widow or widower, it is essential to allow yourself enough time and space to process your loss. You can never replace someone that has died, but after a while (it varies from person to person), you will be ready and able to move on.
It is okay if you have feelings for another person; it does not mean that you are not grateful for what you had with your former partner. To ensure a successful second marriage, many people recommend using an online dating service that provides users with multiple ways of finding potential partners, such as location-based searches and matching profiles created by other users.
The moment your partner passes away, it can be tempting to want to rush into a new relationship. Don’t let yourself become fixated on finding love again. Focus instead on helping your family and friends grieve, moving forward with life and healing, and allowing yourself time for recovery.
If you decide to date again, take things slowly, and don’t forget that what feels right today may not feel right tomorrow. There is no right way or wrong way to move forward in life; there is only how YOU feel at any given point in time. You must be true to yourself during such an emotional journey. Remember: You are not alone!