How Long Do Affairs Last After They Are Discovered?


How Long Do Affairs Last After They Are Discovered?

The longer an affair goes on without getting caught, the more likely it will last if discovered. According to statistics gathered by some marriage counsellors, about one-third of affairs last after they are found. Another third ends before they are discovered, and the other third falls somewhere in between. If you’re trying to decide whether or not your marriage can survive infidelity, the length of time your partner has been cheating can help you understand what you’re up against.

Why do people engage in an affair?

People have affairs for a range of factors. There is no specific profile of a person who has experience. The presence of extramarital affairs within society can be attributed to human sexuality and being attracted to another person that could potentially fulfil needs not being met by a spouse. A common reason for infidelity is dissatisfaction with our lack of intimacy in a relationship. Sometimes, one partner may feel neglected, while it may be due to sexual boredom.

Some couples experience lifestyle drift where they become so accustomed to their daily routine that they become disconnected from each other, leading them to seek fulfilment outside their marriage. Another common reason for infidelity involves revenge against one’s partner; sometimes, one partner will have an affair as payback for something their spouse did or said earlier on in their relationship.

Other times, one partner may have had an affair before getting married but never promised again; however, they fall back into old patterns when they get caught up in old feelings and temptations.

The reasons why people have affairs

The length of time that an affair continues once it has been discovered depends on several factors, including:

  • Whether or not both partners want to salvage their marriage.
  • Whether either partner is still involved with someone else.
  • How comfortable each partner feels being in a relationship involves additional emotional baggage.
  • How successfully each can classify their emotional and physical attraction to a third party.

Experts say it may take at least one year for an extramarital relationship to run before trust can be reestablished between two partners. The average length of an affair, however, is about two years.

What constitutes an affair, according to studies

Infidelity, according to Scott Haltzman, MD, an author and psychologist, is defined as having a sexual and romantic relationship with somebody like your partner for a period of one year or more. The definition also includes allowing your partner to think you are cheating if you don’t reveal that you no longer see that person.

This means that sexting falls under infidelity if it involves anyone who is not your spouse or significant other. Cheating and adultery can be crucial in divorce; some states classify sexting as grounds for divorce, but others do not.

Most common places and situations where an affair may occur

For example, 60% of affairs occur at work, whether between coworkers or bosses and employees. Another study found that 20% happen in places you’d least expect it—among close friends, between people already involved in relationships with others. These numbers dwindle a bit: 9% occur among family members, and 8% occur among people who know each other casually.

What happens if you suspect your partner is having an affair?

The first step in addressing your concerns is to make sure you’re not overly jealous or paranoid. It may be better than the alternative; if you suspect your partner is having an affair, it can be difficult to trust them. However, before you do anything drastic, try to get a handle on why you feel so strongly that something untoward is going on.

If there are specific reasons why you think they might be cheating (for example, they haven’t been returning your calls), don’t hesitate to bring them up and talk about what could be causing these feelings of suspicion. Suppose there aren’t any obvious reasons for your doubts (for example, they seem like they are always busy at work). In that case, it might help to seek professional advice from a counsellor or therapist who can help sort out whether or not these feelings are warranted.

It would help if you also tried to come up with some ways that you could directly address these fears with your partner without making them feel attacked or defensive.

Do most cheaters confess to their partners when confronted with proof?

While you personally believe your partner of cheating, it’s natural to even want to question them. This desire for answers is heightened by a need for confirmation or denial of your fears. If an affair has not been confessed to already, you may be faced with questioning before you ever get such an admission.

In these cases, many people ask: Do most cheaters confess when confronted with proof? The short answer is yes — but we have some caveats.

There are four scenarios in which someone might confess after they have been confronted with their transgressions:

  • 1) When they feel guilty
  • 2) When it doesn’t matter anymore
  • 3) To gain sympathy
  • 4) To throw off suspicion

Why do spouses cheat, even after being caught red-handed?

There are many reasons why spouses cheat on their partners. Sometimes, it’s just an occasional fling. Sometimes, it’s a regular liaison that has lasted for years. And sometimes, it’s a single instance of passion—but one they will regret for years to come. They feel like they want to hide something from their partner in all cases. Unfortunately, that desire makes them more likely to get caught if their actions are discovered or if they confess later on.

Because whenever you want to and are unsure what to do next, consult with a licensed therapist as quickly as practical. It could really help you understand why you acted out and what measures could be taken to repair someone’s relationship.


It’s a common question: How long do affairs last after they are discovered? If you suspect your partner may be having an experience, you’ll likely want to know what to expect as far as how long it might last. As with most things involving people and their relationships, there is no simple answer. An affair can end in hours or days, but it’s also possible for one to linger on for months, even years. The length of time depends mainly on three main factors: whether your partner will choose to get help (possibly from marriage counselling), your commitment to saving your marriage, and whether you’re still seeing each other socially.