My Husband Died and I Want Him Back
You will never “get over” the loss of a loved one, but the painful feelings you are experiencing will subside as you accept the loss. While your painful emotions will take precedence, there is much to learn from a loved one’s death, such as how beautiful life and love are.
Whenever I hear his name or picture, my heart still breaks into pieces, but I wish that pain would be gone forever. How can I find genuine happiness without my beloved husband? Does the heart forget its first love?
Understand what happened
Read up on grief, loss, and bereavement. That will help you realize that other people have had similar experiences as yours. You might not know it, but having another person go through a similar experience can be a blessing in disguise. Find someone who can relate to your loss so they can be there for you during your time of need.
In addition to reading up on grief, loss, or bereavement, you may want to find a therapist specializing in grief counseling if you feel you could use one with friends or family members. You must surround yourself with people who have been through what you are going through so they can better understand how you feel about life without your loved one and death itself.
Grieving a loved one is never easy. But knowing how to grieve correctly can help reduce stress, guilt, and loneliness. As an entrepreneur trying to build a startup, taking care of yourself during what can be a stressful time is essential. The last thing you need is extra stress when grieving a loved one.
Do not isolate yourself
You may need some time to process things, but that’s unhealthy. You might genuinely think that avoiding others will preserve you from additional stress. Parents and neighbors can still be a lifeline for support. Even when tragedy strikes, those who care about you will never stop loving you.
Whether it’s a death in your family or another crisis, friends and family can help fill your emotional well-being and offer practical assistance, so let them into your life—even if it’s just for an hour or two. It might seem scary, but talking with people is one of the best ways to cope with loss.
Enjoy the memories
Widows find themselves in a common trap: wanting to replace their spouse because they’re no longer there. That’s not an easy feat, of course, which means you can become even more isolated than before if you don’t have a plan to keep your social life alive. Instead of pining away for what you had back, focus on finding new ways to remember your partner. You can start by revisiting old photos or enjoying special memories with family members.
Having these things as focal points will help ground you as time passes and keep negative thoughts at bay. Remembering how much you loved your late husband—and how happy he made you—will make it easier to move forward. Focusing on positive thoughts can lead to less stress and greater happiness. Research shows that people who write down three good things daily are 33 percent happier after ten weeks than those who don’t.
So get writing! If you want to be productive, combine some mindfulness exercises with gratitude journaling so you can reap all of its benefits.
This will ensure your well-being over time and keep negativity from taking over your life. And while many therapists recommend journaling to express yourself and explore personal issues in-depth, simply writing down good experiences has been shown to improve happiness levels.
Accept what happened
Once you realize it’s ok to grieve, you can start accepting what happened. Remember, grieving is a journey. It may take time to be entirely at peace with your loss, but that doesn’t mean you should keep living in denial. You don’t have to give up your hopes and dreams or stop being happy because of your loss; instead, work towards accepting what has happened.
The first step is admitting to yourself and others that I am grieving my husband, who died. The following steps are deciding how you wish to grieve, creating an appropriate coping mechanism for yourself, and finally deciding how you will move forward.
Find a group for support
You’re bound to feel lonely when you face life without a loved one. There are many online communities out there for widows or widowers where you can find support from others who have been through what you’re going through.
The most important thing is to find an outlet for your grief and loneliness; you must learn how to be alone with your feelings. That whenever a new individual enters your life, they do not have to come to grips with all of your entanglements right away. Take some time off from dating or relationships while adjusting to being on your own again.
Permit Yourself to Heal Slowly
Death can change your life in so many ways that it’s impossible to know what you’ll need or how you’ll cope with all these changes. But, it is essential to permit yourself to do things at your own pace.
You might feel compelled to get through everything as quickly as possible. Still, if you aren’t taking care of yourself along the way, then you could experience burnout or overwhelm.
Instead of scheduling too much on your plate from day one, please take a few steps at a time and build upon them later. This will keep you going for longer than trying to do everything all at once.
Getting over a loss like death or divorce is difficult. But, there are ways to begin healing and move forward with your life. Writing down your feelings can be cathartic, as it forces you to face your feelings head-on rather than push them aside. Starting to talk to many other people who went through similar problems or getting help are significant ways to keep moving forward after each loss.