Don’t Lose a Son When Your Son Gets Married
Only because it sounds that way, it is. In some households, parents live with their sons rather than their daughters. Yes, it may seem that way since males try to hide their feelings and instead focus on their careers. However, males will look out for their parent’s health and well-being. In contrast, women have a stronger bond with their parents and are now working and putting more emphasis on their careers.
Relationships between mother and son change
The mother-son relationship will change once your son gets married. He may no longer need your help daily, and you may have to learn how to make space for your son’s new wife. In addition, visiting your son’s new spouse can be difficult if you don’t live close by. So avoid dropping by your son’s house unexpectedly, and give him ample notice that you’ll visit.
Although the relationship between mother and son will change, keeping a close relationship with your son is still possible. As a mother, you need to show your love for your son without becoming overbearing. At the same time, you need to maintain boundaries so that your son doesn’t need your undivided attention. For example, you can talk to him openly about his feelings without using accusatory language. The goal is to have a connection and avoid misunderstandings.
Both parties must accept that your son has a family of his own and that he and his wife must make it work. Don’t be afraid to express your support for your son, his new wife, and their new family. The new spouse’s new family is an excellent opportunity to build a stronger bond, but you shouldn’t try to interfere with their life.
When your son gets married, the relationship between mother and son will change, too. The transition will require a lot of work on your part. But the reward will be more than worth it. When the two of you start talking and communicating openly, you can make things better.
Respect the boundaries set by the son and his wife
As a parent, you should respect your son and his wife’s boundaries. However, it can be intrusive if you constantly nag your son and push him away. You should also avoid comparing your son to others because it will affect his sense of self-worth and make him feel insecure. Instead, try to find your son’s hidden talents and make him aware of them.
Avoid interfering in marriage
If your son is about to get married, you may want to stay out of the marriage. Getting involved is natural for a parent but can be unhealthy for the marriage. To keep your son happy, it’s essential to set boundaries. Try to limit your involvement to the basics. This may mean hiring someone to handle odd jobs or home repairs. You can also tell your son and his partner to work out their differences without getting involved in the relationship. While your role is essential, treat your son and his new spouse equally. Whenever you can, try to communicate with both of them.
Getting a dowry
Many dowry marriages are based on bitterness and suspicion, leading to conflict and loss of respect. Sometimes, the husband will even throw acid at the woman or set her on fire. The violence against women can be anything from a brutal beating to emotional torture. The husband can also withhold money or keep his mistress open. In extreme cases, he can even burn the wife alive.
A dowry is an estate, money, or goods given to a bride when she gets married. It is common in patrilineal cultures such as Europe, South Asia, and Africa. The goal of a dowry is to protect the wife and provide her with the means to support her children if the husband is unfaithful. Sometimes, a dowry may substitute for the inheritance of the husband’s estate.
Dowries are also destructive to women’s rights. Historically, women were seen as a financial burden on families. This led many parents to abort their daughters or allow them to die after birth. It has also led to a huge gender disparity. According to the 2011 census, India has 914 girls for every one hundred boys. While dowries were initially intended to help women gain independence, they have now become a system that encourages the husband to dominate the wife.
Getting on daughter-in-law’s lousy side
If you’re worried about getting on your daughter-in-law’s lousy side after your son gets married, you can do a few things to prevent it. The first thing to remember is that your daughter-in-law is probably concerned with impressing her in-laws. She probably knows more about you than you do, but she’s still your son’s daughter.
Don’t get on your daughter-in-law’s lousy side by arguing about gender roles. Disagreements about these roles are a significant source of friction between parents and daughters-in-law. If your daughter-in-law talks badly about you even when you’re not there, you’ll have difficulty explaining yourself or the situation to others. Besides, confronting her won’t help stop the backbiting. It will also make your family uncomfortable.
Only try to be nice to your daughter-in-law if you like her. She will try to spoil your reputation among her friends and family members. She may lie about things and even makeup situations to hurt you. She may be a toxic person, so try to stay away from her. Even if your son’s daughter-in-law seems nice to others, she will probably try to keep her distance from you.
Toxic daughters-in-law are not pleasant to live with. This is because they manipulate your son to do what they want. Your daughter-in-law will second-guess every good deed you do. Of course, the worst thing she’ll do is tell your son you’re planning something to hurt him.
If your son’s daughter-in-law is toxic, you’ll need to do what you can to keep her from destroying your son’s marriage. A toxic daughter-in-law will hog all the attention in the house, and she will try to change the rules. She expects to be served and will sneer when things don’t go her way.
Mother-son relationship affects marriage
If he continually wants his mother’s approval, he may never look to you or himself for guidance. That’s a massive red flag. If he can’t make his own decisions without her direction, he may never mature into a man on his own. He won’t trust himself. Therefore he’ll believes that seeking guidance from his mother is the only option.
How do parents react when their children marry?
The excitement in such life events is such that parents generally cry because they are overjoyed to know that there is finally someone who can accompany them through life’s journey and that they will not be alone in their good and bad times. For every parent, the sensation of excitement during a wedding is unparalleled.
Is it natural to have sadness when your child marries?
We notice a shift in our connection with freedom and spontaneity when we have a new baby. Similarly, you may lose part of your independence after [a wedding]. So it’s normal to experience pain when transitioning from single to married life.
How has your relationship with your parents changed since you married?
Your parents are accustomed to you being their top priority – and they are accustomed to being one of yours. However, even the most devoted parents may find it difficult to accept that their spouse is suddenly their primary focus. This might lead to resentment, interference, or unpleasant feelings between your parents and your spouse.
Should a man prioritize his love for his wife or his mother?
According to a relationship specialist, men should prioritize their marriages above their moms. Most women, she claims, feel insulted, patronized, and overshadowed by their mothers-in-law. But unfortunately, men let this behavior go unchallenged.