My Mom Died and I Want to Talk to Her Best Friend
When someone dies, you can only talk to your memories and recall the days you stayed together. Mom’s death is painful, and there are no ways you can talk to her in reality. However, you may have some dreams about her, where you could see yourself talking to your mom; why not talk to your mom’s best friend and feel the warmth you used to share with your mom?
What do I say to my mother after she has passed away? Do I describe her to a friend who has not met her? The answer to both questions is yes. But it would help if you avoided the temptation to use pictures or videos. Instead, talk to your mom’s best friend. Here are some tips. You may want to talk to her on the phone. But you should only do this if you’re sure that your mother would like to talk to you.
Describe your mom to people who didn’t know her
Trying to describe your mother after her death can be a daunting task. While you may be able to tell others the specific details of her life, describing your mother to those who didn’t know her will be a different story. After all, no one can understand what it is like to lose someone close to you. Listed below are some strategies to help you make the process easier.
Avoid pictures
Many people who lose a loved one cry a lot. They hide away in rooms, order comfort food, and try to get over it independently. You might also watch TV shows or movies with funeral or cancer scenes. But these images are complex for you to deal with when you’re feeling numb and irritable. So instead of allowing yourself to be sad, try to distract yourself. Instead of lying on your mother’s bed, avoid all her pictures and old home movies.
Avoid videos
While video may seem less emotional for you, it’s essential to remember that it may be difficult for your parent to watch and listen to you. For example, you may not want to talk about death and hospice care, but some people aren’t ready to accept this information.
Other family members might want to talk about funeral arrangements or new symptoms. The best approach is to listen first and then continue the conversation. In most cases, the best way to do this is by being a good listener.
Avoid talking to a friend.
There are certain things to say and not say to your grieving friend after your mom dies. While the most appropriate statement is, “that sucks!” any other statement will seem like an attempt to cheer her up.
Also, not mentioning how well you are is not helpful, as it may invalidate her feelings and make her feel worse. Instead, try to be as such supportive as possible, but avoid talking about yourself and your own life.
Your friend is probably feeling extremely sad and will be able to understand how you feel, but you should avoid being judgmental about it. It is perfectly normal for a friend to feel sadness when someone close to them has lost a parent, but if you try to minimize your feelings, it will only make grieving even more difficult. Instead, try to think of some kind things that the friend would say about the deceased.
